How to create a horrible direct mail campaign

[fa icon="calendar"] Dec 24, 2015 8:00:00 AM / by MEDiAHEAD

avoid these things if you want to create a successful direct mail marketing campaignSome people say that learning from your mistakes is the most critical contributor to your growth as an individual (or a company). This adage can be applied to virtually any aspect of life, whether you’re first learning how to ride a bicycle, or analyzing the results of a direct mail campaign.

Well, get ready to grow, ladies and gentlemen. The following blunders and errors outline a gloriously imperfect strategy for maximizing the number of mistakes you can make in a direct mail marketing campaign:

Target way too broadly. Like, just send your stuff to literally everybody.

Your in-house marketing list — those who have already opted in and expressed interest in what your company has to offer — comprises the people who are most likely to respond to your message. Properly segmenting your audience will lead to greater response rates, and increases the efficiency of your direct mail marketing budget.

But why would you be smart when you can be obnoxious? Send your promotional materials and direct mail communications to anyone and everyone you can think of. Direct Marketing News compares the strategy of ignoring audience segmentation to “throwing darts while wearing a blindfold,” which sounds fun and exciting and deliciously dangerous.

Never under any circumstances follow up after receiving a response.

A follow-up email or phone call allows you to show your appreciation after closing a sale, or find out what went wrong after failing to complete a transaction. In order for your direct marketing campaign to be uncommonly ineffective, it is in your best interest to sit on your hands and wait for your prospects to present their feedback to you.

Save your best content for the end of the offer. Wait to gain their attention.

Direct mail marketing experts estimate that an average prospect will give your mail item approximately five seconds of attention before determining whether to continue reading or to pitch your pitch into the trash. In which case — if you’re truly committed to being ignored — you should absolutely save your strongest attention-grabbing copy for the very end of your offer.

Don’t proofread. Use mediocre copy. Use the word “moist” a whole lot.

Name one moment from the entire history of the universe in which one person decided on a specific course of action after being inspired by the words or prose of another.

Exactly. You can’t.

Words only have meaning because society gives them meaning, so ultimately, it doesn’t really matter how the copy on your direct marketing items reads. People will interpret words however they want, which is pretty crocodile if you ask me.

To avoid accidentally provoking your prospects into purchasing your products or services, use poor grammar and spelling, and implement bland, cookie-cutter copy. And use words that tend to annoy people, like “utilize,” or “bulbous.”

Hypothetical situation: You want to AVOID making mistakes and maximize the effectiveness of your direct marketing strategies. Okay. Interesting. If for some reason this is the case, then MEDiAHEAD has everything you need to fully communicate and measure the impact of your message over print, online, and other new media outlets. Contact MEDiAHEAD today for more information about developing a more effective direct mail campaign!

Topics: Marketing, Branding, Printing, Data

Written by MEDiAHEAD